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Honoring the Loss of a Pet: Understanding Pet Grief and Finding Support

Updated: 15 hours ago

Honoring the place pets hold in our lives, and the weight of their loss


In a recent post, we shared how pets can support our mental health through connection, routine, and care. This is the other side of that. What happens when that relationship ends?

I’ve recently experienced the loss of two pets, a year apart, animals I had loved and cared for throughout my entire adult life, for nearly 20 years. Their presence shaped my routines, my home, and parts of who I was on a daily basis.


Comforting hand holding a dog's paw
A gentle moment of connection as a person lovingly holds a dog's paw, symbolizing trust and friendship.

Now that they are gone, it isn’t just about missing them. It’s feeling the absence of something that had been constant for so long.


And that kind of loss can be deeply felt.


What Pet Grief Can Look Like


Grief doesn’t always show up in one clear way.


It can look like:


  • A deep sense of emptiness in your home or routine

  • Waves of sadness that come unexpectedly or are tied to specific moments

  • Missing the small, everyday interactions you shared

  • Reaching for them out of habit, then remembering they’re gone

  • Questioning decisions or feeling guilt about their care or passing

  • Feeling numb, or like it hasn’t fully hit yet

  • Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy

  • Feeling more sensitive, irritable, or withdrawn

  • Avoiding reminders of the pet, or holding tightly to them


Some moments may feel very present, while others feel distant. Grief can also show up in ways that feel confusing or inconsistent. You might feel okay one moment and then unexpectedly overwhelmed the next. Certain times of day, routines, or places can bring the loss into sharper focus. Even small reminders can carry weight. There’s no single way to experience this.

And there’s no timeline for how it should unfold.


Ways to Move Through It


There isn’t a right way to grieve. But there are ways to support yourself through it. Grief often asks for space, not solutions. It can feel like something you need to move past, but more often it’s something you actually move with. Finding ways to stay connected to yourself, while honoring what you’ve lost, can help create a sense of steadiness over time.


Things to consider while navigating pet grief


  • Allowing yourself to feel the loss without minimizing it

  • Finding simple ways to honor your pet, like photos, memories, or small rituals

  • Talking about them with people who understand

  • Letting your routines shift gradually, rather than forcing change

  • Giving yourself time, even when others expect you to move on

  • Taking care of your body in small ways, like rest, food, and movement


There may also be moments where grief softens, or where you feel a sense of calm or relief. These moments don’t take away from the relationship you had. Grief can come in waves, but it can soften over time, returning in still moments. That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means something mattered. If it feels hard to hold this on your own, there are spaces that can support you.


The Impact of Pet Loss


When a pet has been part of your life for years, their presence becomes woven into your day to day life.


In their absence, you might feel this in:


  • The quiet moments where they used to be

  • The routines that no longer exist

  • The small interactions that once felt automatic

  • The role you held in caring for them


There can be a kind of silence that feels unfamiliar. Not just in your space, but in your body and your day to day life. Over time, pets can also become part of how you understand yourself, and how others come to know you. You might be known as the person who always talks about their dog, whose routine includes caring for them, whose plans to get together often revolve around their pet or include them, or simply as someone who loves and cares for the animals in their life and beyond. When that’s no longer there, it can feel like a shift not just in your life, but in your sense of self.


Just as with other parts of identity that change or are lost, people around you may, or may not always recognize the impact. Some may not fully understand, or know how to hold space for this kind of grief. This can make the experience feel more isolating. You might notice yourself holding it in, or not knowing where it feels comfortable to talk about it more deeply. At the same time, the impact is still real. It lives in your routines, your body, your memories, and the role you held in caring for the pet. This has definitely been the case for me.


Resources for Pet Grief


Finding support, whether through community, structured groups, or therapy, can make this feel less isolating. Here are some resources to take or share.



Continued Reflection


Grief often reflects the depth of connection. It is a result of love and care. For many of us, animals are part of our homes, our routines, and our communities. They shape how we care, how we show up, and how we experience connection in everyday life. Losing a pet is not a small loss. It’s the loss of a relationship, a presence, and a way of moving through the world that included them.


We honor the animals who have been part of our lives, and the joy, love, and meaning they brought with them. And to those who have lost, or will one day lose, a beloved animal companion, I'm holding you with care.


However this shows up for you, there is nothing about it that needs to be minimized or rushed.


If you’re wanting support in moving through grief, this is something that can be explored in therapy.

You’re welcome to reach out to schedule a consultation with one of our therapists.


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